Soulmate Formulas • 6 min read

Dissolve your egos and help others dissolve theirs, this was the first piece of advice I got on how I would find my soulmate. By doing so I would supposedly tap a cosmic energy that was powerful enough and intelligent enough to bring me the right partner. But there was so much more to this mystery that I wasn’t being told. Years later, after finding and losing my soulmate several times, I got so frustrated that I decided to throw open a book written by one of the most admired men of all time, Plato. What I was about to discover startled me, and it was just the beginning.

When I first read Plato, the only line that got my attention was: “Let no one act against the god of Love, for if we become his friends and reconcile with him, we will discover and encounter the loves that really belong to us, though few today achieve this.” At that time I was sharing my favorite quotes with friends of mine, and in this particular case, immediately after discovering this quote and sending it out, I laid down to meditate, and was surprised at the pleasant feeling beginning to pervade my entire body: it was a feeling of lucidity, and I felt no negativity while in such a state. This experience not only gave me a clue but it also taught me what love actually is — consciousness. Plato’s definition was different. He defined love as the longing and pursuit of being complete, an idea reflected in the following story.

A student once approached one of the great teachers of India and asked, "What is love, and how can I find it?" The teacher remained silent and gave no answer. Undeterred, the student returned the next day and repeated the question, but the teacher continued to say nothing. For six days, the student persistently sought an answer, but the teacher’s silence never wavered. On the seventh day, the teacher led the student to the Ganges River. Without a word, he took the student’s hands and suddenly submerged him in the water. The student kicked and struggled, desperate for air, until the teacher finally pulled him back to the surface. Once the student caught his breath, the teacher asked, "What did you feel when you were underwater?" The student replied, "I felt suffocated! I needed air–any longer, and I would have burst from the lack of it!" The teacher nodded and said, "When you feel such a need for love as you felt for air, only then will you truly understand it and begin to seek it." As for how one should not only seek but also attain love, I came across another story that is no less profound:

A student approached one of the great teachers of antiquity, seeking guidance on how to live in order to attain love. He instructed: "Go into the world, among people, and you will meet three souls on your journey: a soldier, a Brahmin, and an adept. You must slap each of them once. After completing your task, return to me and share what you have learned." The disciple set out on his journey. The first person he encountered was a soldier. Without hesitation, the disciple slapped him. The soldier immediately retaliated with two powerful slaps, knocking the disciple to the ground. Picking himself up, the disciple thought: "This soldier is strong!" He continued on his way and arrived at a temple, where he found a Brahmin deep in prayer. Approaching quietly, the disciple slapped him. The Brahmin initially raised his hand as if to strike back but then paused, lowered his hand, and resumed his prayer. The disciple thought: "This Brahmin seems weak." Finally, he met the adept, who was seated and absorbed in deep thought. The disciple approached, slapped him, and quickly stepped back. The adept remained completely still, his posture and focus undisturbed. The disciple concluded: "This one is completely weak." Upon completing his task, the disciple returned to his teacher and recounted all that he had observed and learned. The teacher listened and then replied: "To succeed, be like the adept: whatever others do to you, keep your thoughts elevated. To act like the soldier is to spend more energy than necessary. To act like the Brahmin is to think in a new way but live by the old. The new must become your very flesh and blood. Be like the adept, be so immersed that you stand above the pettiness and quarrels of life."

Regarding the philosophy of love, Beinsa Douno–whom Rudolf Steiner regarded as the second coming of Christ–had this to say: “Love is the sweetest thing – in the mind, heart, soul, everywhere. All beauty is love. Harmony is love. Strength is love. Whether you are ugly or beautiful, strong or weak, good or evil, it is clear why.” When asked how one finds their soulmate, Beinsa Douno answered, ’When they awaken their mind, learn to listen to the voice of the divine, and stop postponing things.’ A few years later, the eminent Gurdjieff expanded on this idea, explaining the mechanism behind it: if you are working inwardly, Nature will call upon conscious spirits to give you everything you need for your work, including a complementary spouse.

In 1768, Emanuel Swedenborg, the scientist revered by Emerson, Beinsa Douno and even Balzac, wrote: “As wisdom grows, the form is perfected. This form does not receive the love of the many, but the love of one; with this love, union can be made with the innermost, where heaven and its joys reside.” In short, the price of love is wisdom.

Similarly, the Zohar, the ancient Hebraic book foundational to the Kabbalah, speaks of such wisdom in greater detail: “Regarding soulmates, only the Holy One understands their affinity and knows how to unite them properly. Worthy they who perform good deeds and who walk in the ways of righteousness. For in doing so, their soul is connected with the other soul, as it was originally.”

As of 1928, thanks to a manuscript reportedly found in the Vatican archives, we’ve had access to the soulmate formula of the great initiate Jesus: ‘Love your spirit, love your body, and love your true brothers and sisters, and then your Heavenly Father will give you his holy spirit, and your Earthly Mother her holy body.’

Almost a decade later, I resolved to revisit Plato. In this reading however I found more clues: ‘The gods, who honor the sincerity and excellence associated with love, denied Orpheus his wife, deeming him soft, as he did not dare to die for love, but instead sought to enter this physical world without the sacrifice.’ In the same spirit, the immortal Zanoni said he could transfer the love of another to you, “if your faith in virtue and yourself be deep and loyal.”

Plato wasn’t the only teacher to reference Orpheus the Bard when discussing love. Eliphas Levi, the celebrated hierophant and secret mentor to princes wrote, “As in the fable of Orpheus, the pure man must create a companion for himself; he must bring her up to his level by devoting himself to her and not coveting her.” This emphasis on devotion and sacrifice calls to mind a fable that clearly illustrates their connection to love:

Three young men fell in love with a beautiful and intelligent woman, each determined to marry her. To test their love, she devised the following challenge: she built a wall out of cardboard, designed to look like steel, and embedded three sharp knives into it. Each bachelor had to ride a bike toward the wall and break through it. Whoever dared to accomplish this would win her hand. The first bachelor approached the wall but, upon seeing the sharp knives, immediately retreated, exclaiming, "I don’t want to die!" The second bachelor gathered speed and rode closer, but as he neared the wall, he thought to himself, "What will I really gain from the woman if I make this sacrifice for her?" At that moment, he hesitated and decided to turn back. The third bachelor, however, charged forward without a second thought. His one desire was to marry the beautiful woman. And what was the result? The wall and the knives were made of cardboard. He reached the wall, broke through it, and emerged triumphantly on the other side. He won the woman’s love. When the other two bachelors saw this, they said, "We could have done the same thing." Today, everyone is facing the same test. When they come across a paper wall, most turn back. Yet there will always be someone humble and unassuming who, without overthinking the consequences, will break through the wall.

To close this chapter, I’m going to put forward my formula: If your giving surpasses your taking, your soulmate will make an appearance in your daily life. If, however, you encounter difficulty in forming a relationship with this person, consider the guidance once given by the Divine to another in the same situation: Anyone who truly wants to achieve a high ideal and strives towards it will always overcome the challenges in their life.